What I can work on to improve my writing
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Vocabulary
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Use interesting adjectives (describing words) and similes (use like or as to compare)
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Ideas
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I will work on adding more detail to my ideas (describing what I did, saw, heard and felt).
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Punctuation
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To use capital letters after full stops
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Whaea Lana’s comment
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Small amount detail, try add more of what you feel, see, think and hear. I look forward to seeing you make great progress this term Manaaki-tia
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At the Beach.
In the holiday me my uncle and my cousins went to the beach.it was awesome we bombed we dived it was cool.when i jumped i landed on one of my cousins it was funny.after that we went and got fizzy and fish and chips it was yummy.at the end of the day i felt tired.then we went back home.
kia ora Manaaki-tia,I was impressed on how you improved on your vocabulary. next time can you make a little bit interesting and what you think about the beach. i look forward to more interesting writting
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