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Tuesday, February 21, 2017

At the Beach



What I can work on to improve my writing
Vocabulary
Use interesting adjectives (describing words) and similes (use like or as to compare)
 Ideas
I will work on adding more detail to my ideas (describing what I did, saw, heard and felt).
Punctuation
To use capital letters after full stops


Whaea Lana’s comment
Small amount detail, try add more of what you feel, see, think and hear.  I look forward to seeing you make great progress this term Manaaki-tia



At the Beach.
In the holiday me my uncle and my cousins went to the beach.it was awesome we bombed we dived it was cool.when i jumped i landed on one of my cousins it was funny.after that we went and got fizzy and fish and chips it was yummy.at the end of the day i felt tired.then we went back home.

1 comment:

  1. kia ora Manaaki-tia,I was impressed on how you improved on your vocabulary. next time can you make a little bit interesting and what you think about the beach. i look forward to more interesting writting

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